The thing with having your heart rendered is that,
you don't just wake up one morning and all of a sudden your heart is perfect and pure and holy, before God.
There's a beginning point, you know? when it starts to be rendered.
And even before that, there's....... something.
An awakening maybe,
or a longing,
and, this....... realization that there is more that your heart needs, or is meant to do;
And so you start to wonder and think and ask and search, for that thing your heart is longing for.
And sometimes it takes days, or weeks, or months even; this seeking.
Sometimes, it takes years.......
But then you come to a place where you realize that the whole world is aching, breaking, dying right before your eyes.
And God starts to open your eyes to see; to really see the world through His eyes.
And your heart starts to break.......
And it's hard.
It's just too hard for you to handle because who can bear the weight of a broken world?
What heart can hold that much pain?
So God starts to breathe into you,
expanding your heart,
making room for the love that He is pouring in there.......
That's the beginning of the rendering process.
So then you start walking around with your heart going through this crazy, strange, beautiful, painful process.
Sometimes it's just so good, you know?
Like when your girlfriends come over for lunch and you talk and really listen to each others hearts, and you laugh and cry and pray together.
Or you get the chance to visit with people and they trust you enough to share their most precious and intimate thoughts with you and you just KNOW that God is there in the moment.
But then there's just the normal every day stuff.
You do the laundry with a heart that is being rendered.
And go to the bank with a heart that is being rendered.
You buy groceries,
and put gas in the car,
and clean toilets, while your heart is being rendered.
And just everywhere you go, and everything you do,
is with a heart that is being rendered.
And it's just too much.
You want the rendering process to be over so that you can walk around without feeling that your heart might burst at any given moment.
And you start to wonder if you'll ever get to the place where you feel God is bringing you.
So you say to God while you are washing dishes, (with your heart that is being rendered)
"How long is this going to take Lord, this rendering process?"
"Because it's so hard."
"Why can't You just finish this rendering process now, Lord."
And you feel this thought rise up in your soul,
"The process is holy."
And suddenly you understand.
It's the process of the rendering that is making you holy.
When God grabs hold of you,
takes your heart in His hands,
and starts to breathe His love into it,
and it rips and tears and breaks almost in two,
that process is holy.
Because when the love comes in,
it pushes the sin out.
And you start to look less like you,
and more like Him.
And that is holy.
It is in this rendering process that you are being made holy.
So stay there as long as He asks.
Walk around with your heart being rendered.
Buy your groceries with your heart being rendered.
Do your workouts with your heart being rendered.
Pump your gas with your heat being rendered.
It'll take a while.
It will take a lifetime, actually.
This rendering process will never come to completion till the day He calls you home.
But it's okay.
You'll be okay.
You're just being made holy.