Last year, I planned a glorious deck party. I told all of my girlfriends that I was having them over to enjoy a lazy afternoon in the sun, to sip lemonade and margaritas, and eat chips and salsa with homemade guacamole. I have a large deck with lots of comfortable seating so all of us would be able to gather together out there. One friend even suggested we set up a slip and slide in the yard and because we're all just a little bit crazy, we were thrilled with the idea!
Ya'll, I was super pumped about having this all girls deck party and let me tell you, so were they! They couldn't wait for it to happen.
"When are you having your deck party, Melinda?" they kept asking me.
"I'm not totally sure, but soon! I just need to figure out the right day."
I said that all summer long. "Soon!" I was so looking forward to this deck party. But I was having a hard time pulling it together. There were just so many things I needed to get done before I could host it. I wanted to make sure that our yard was totally manicured first. The house siding needed to be washed and I really wanted a better patio set out there before the girls came over. The weather obviously needed to be conducive, and I would need to have time to clean the house, especially the bathrooms, before I could set the date. It was proving difficult to have everything perfect.
And then Claudia would ask me when I was hosting it.
"Soon!" I said. But for the life of me, I just couldn't find the perfect time.
Summer stretched quickly into fall and my friends harassed me over this glorious deck party that didn't happen. I assured them that I would do it before winter, and I really was bound and determined to make it happen, but again, I just couldn't seem to figure out the right time to host it. Fall came and went, and I never did have that deck party.
Ya'll? I'm super bummed about it. It would have been an excellent party if I'd hosted it. I mean, it probably wouldn't have been perfect. I might not have had the time to make fresh lemonade. I might have had to buy guacamole instead of make it from scratch. But still, it would have been awesome. My girlfriends are pretty awesome and I'm pretty awesome, so obviously, even if we were drinking store bought lemonade and eating store bought guacamole, we would have been together, and it would have been awesome. We would have talked and laughed our heads off. Kim would have led the slip n' slide entourage, and Jo would have initiated a rousing game of Spoons. Dawnelle would have kept us snorting in laughter with her brilliant quips, and Claudia would have absolutely forced Laura and Carmyn out of their comfort zones and into doing something crazy like deck dancing or something. It really would have been awesome.
But it wasn't.
Because it never happened.
Because I never planned it.
Because I was waiting for everything to be perfect before I hosted it.
An amazing, all girls deck party never even had the chance of happening because I was too caught up in waiting for everything to be perfect first.
What a shame. I really missed not having that deck party......
Here's the thing. This really isn't about the non-existent deck party. It's about a missed opportunity. It's about the fact that I lost out on what could have been a beautiful time of intimate camaraderie with good friends, because I needed to have everything perfect before they came.
My home is very important to me. I've worked hard to make it an inviting, Hygge space where family and friends can relax and be at peace. But, it will have all been for naught if I am unable to have them over because I need everything to be perfect before I do.
My friends are wonderful. They love me a whole lot. And I know that they don't really care if my bathroom is clean before they come. They don't care if I have home made, or store bought cookies. It doesn't matter to them if my hair is done or even if I'm still in my pajamas. All they care about is my company, and perhaps, a "perfect" cup of coffee.
I know this. I had a couple friends over last night and the bathroom wasn't clean. And because my vacuum broke, the rug was kind of dirty. I wasn't even wearing a bra. And you know what? They didn't care. We sat on the floor around the coffee table and ate bread and cheese and salami. We talked and laughed and cried a little. It wasn't perfect, but it sure was beautiful.
Perfect, you see, doesn't even exist. It is an idealism that permeates our desires to overcome perceived shortcomings. It subsists only because of our insecurities and our doubts within ourselves. Perfect is the enemy of beautiful, and it's not even a real thing.
I want you to know something.
Your house is enough.
You are enough.
Stop waiting for life to be perfect.
It will never be perfect.
Live it anyway.