I might have a problem.
Actually, I'm pretty sure I have a problem.
Or maybe, it's my brother that has the problem.
I don't really know.
One of does, that's for sure.
You should know.....
I love my brother.
He is really, a fantastic guy.
He is smart......
and, actually, quite handsome!
I love spending time with him.
I like his company.
This is actually something my entire family is very good at.
We all genuinely like each other, and enjoy being in each other's company.
We were all together for Christmas on the 17th at my brother's newly built house.
We had a FANTASTIC time!
This is us!
We like each other!
Also, aren't we particularly good looking?
(Please note, none of us girls knew there was going to be a family photo, so not one of us had done our hair, or put a stitch of make-up on. In fact, I don't think I had even brushed my teeth at this point.......Yikes! Still.......we are HOT!)
Anyway, in spite of the fantastic time we had together,
this is where the problem occurred.
You see, there were 16 of us all staying overnight at my brother's house.
So, you know, that means 16 bodies that needed to be cleaned.
With two showers.
So, my sister-in-law graciously volunteers their en-suite for my use.
This is awesome!
I get to use their gorgeous, large, rain-fall shower!
My brother; my sister-in-law's husband, and my husband; my sister-in-law's brother-in-law, had gone into town to pick up a few needed items.
So, neither of them heard my sister-in-law offer up their en-suite.
Just before I make my way to their bedroom to get myself showered, they arrived back home.
I didn't end up seeing my brother, but I did see my husband, so I hollered down the stairs at him to tell my brother that I was getting in his shower.
Do not trust a man to relay an important message.
They mean well, but let's be honest.
They lose things in translation.
I gather all of my "shower paraphernalia" find a towel in the linen closet, and proceed to their bedroom.
I shut the bedroom door, and make my way through their walk-in closet, (be still my beating heart!!!) closing that door, whilst discovering it had no lock on it, and on into the en-suite.
See, the en-suite is sort of attached to the walk-in closet, and share the same door.
Being that the closet door didn't have a lock on it, I should have gone out to the bedroom door and locked it...... you know, just in case?
But, I didn't.
I didn't because, I'm stupid.
Anyhow, I'm in the bathroom, getting ready to get in the shower.
I remove my jammies, (I apologize profusely for the image now implanted in your brain, but honestly, I was getting in the shower, so it needed to happen, folks.)
and this memory, from back when I was 17, flooded my brain......
I am 17.
It is late morning and,
I believe I am the only one in the house.
I need to have a shower.
So, I go the bathroom just down the hall from my bedroom.
I towel dry my body.
Because I believe I am the only one in the house,
I hang my towel on the back of the bathroom door,
leave the bathroom, to walk past my brother's bedroom,
whose door is wide open,
and proceed into my own bedroom......
There is only one problem.
I am not the only one in the house.
After entering my bedroom,
I hear my brother yell at me.......
"MELINDA!!!!!! DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM??????"
I die inside.
Like, my heart actually stopped beating.
For a few split seconds,
I was completely dead.
my body went hot in my panic.
my entire body must have been as red as a beat.....
a fire truck,
or, a freaking red, hot coal.
Let me tell you, folks,
my body burned with embarrassment!
But, there was no way in hell,
(That's actually how hot I was!!!)
I was going to let my brother know that.
I replied as casually as I could.
"Do you have a problem????"
O, dear Lord!
Let me die right now!
I should dig a grave, and crawl in it!
I will never live this down!
The entire school will hear about this by tomorrow!
let. me. die!
I never died.
(Only from embarrassment.)
There I am, standing in my brother's personal bathroom, (well, his, and his wife's...)
with this painful memory burning through my brain.......
"Maybe I should go lock the bedroom door........"
"I mean, what if he were to come in and see me standing here,
stark naked, again?????"
"No. Be serious, Melinda. How likely is that to happen again?"
"Besides, hubby told him you were using his en-suite."